AMBER ROSE!!!!! WTF?

I admit it.  I was rooting for this ho.  WTF???  In my book "Poor Ho, Rich Ho", I talk about shit like this.  If you haven't heard or seen the very graphic news, Ms. Amber Rose has some nude pics running loose on the 'net.  Media Takeout posted these pics.

When I first heard I laughed this off because it's a common public relations move for reality tv and "model chicks" to leak graphic pics over the web and then attach some sort of scandalous reason how and why the leak occurred.   For instance, my initial theory was that Amber noticed her mass appeal with her audience changing, more hatred was coming her way.  What propelled her to semi-celebrity status was her obvious sex appeal, dating Kanye West, breaking up with Kanye West then dating another known rapper- she was a groupie's role model.  To remind us all of her sensual prowess I figured she might have leaked these pics, acted shocked, got her new rap boyfriend to tell the world via twitter that he loves her and will stand by her no matter what, to prove a ho can keep a man.  Another case of the hos winning, right?

Possibly wrong.  Allegedly Amber Rose was attempting to lure Nicki Minaj's boyfriend into her ho spell about two years ago and actually sent him pics of herself to his phone- which Nicki Minaj actually discovered.  If that's true, it appears that Amber was trying to score a silent win over one of the most popular female rappers since Lil' Kim.  To lure Nicki Minaj's man into her fold on the low, get away with it, bag a new rapper and then use the info later to build on her sexual allure would have been a power ho move on Amber's part.  If she'd succeeded, she would have actually built more social leverage to add to her ho-turned-semi-celebrity status.  In all fairness, some of the most popular male stars are hos and get plenty of credit for their conquests, Amber (much like Karinne) is challenging the double standard- a pioneerin' go-getter!

Yet one thing can haunt these sorts of women.  They sometimes lack good judgment and strategic insight.  For all you up-and-coming vixens take heed, always be in control of your picture leaks.  Bikinis, thongs, maybe topless shots are always acceptable because you can get paid to model those parts in magazines and videos.  The true commodity isn't what you reveal, it's what's left to imagine.  Once the mystery is gone, the illusion is gone and the suspension of disbelief is ruined- you become another naked, dumb ho that got played.  Not good for business.

Rose's supposed response to this "leak" is that someone she trusted with access to her laptop leaked the photos.  Maybe, maybe not- regardless, she didn't want those pics to get her what she got next- allegedly dropped, released, dismissed by CAA.

For those of you unfamiliar with CAA (Creative Artist Agency), it's one of the largest and best talent agencies in entertainment.  Once you sign with these people, you can really build an artistic career, they're truly insiders to "the business."  To possibly fuck that up is just plain dumb.  What probably caused it?  Read carefully:

1.  Hos always take naked pics.  Po hos take naked pics revealing their faces, Rich hos never take personal naked pics with their faces showing if they don't want to ever be outed with true nude pics.

2.  Save the best for last.  If you make money being a sensual tease, keep it simple and somewhat discreet.  Draw a very thick line between your public image and your personal life.  Example, the world can see you in a thong but only your man can see you naked...even hos need standards!

3.  Less is more.  Even in a salacious culture, mystery keeps the public coming back.

My advice to Amber Rose?  Hire me as your public relations expert.

I'd have you do the following 4 things:

1. Stop apologizing, it reveals that your game slipped up.  Plenty of detractors want to see you fail and beg for mercy, don't give them the satisfaction.  Besides, you will never make your anti-fans happy no matter what, don't provide them fuel to laugh at your misfortune.   You can be a ho, but don't be a dumb one crying for sympathy.
2.  Another talent agency will want you, publicize it loudly and quickly.  That shows you are still in demand.
3.  Embrace your sexual appeal.  Release a statement that you represent talented, attractive women that are not shy about their sexual prowess but do value relationships with strong men that can handle your energy.  This makes your man look like a someone who is not a fool and knows what he's dealing with.
4.  Your goods are spilled but not ruined.  Start fielding offers from the top adult entertainment magazines and video productions- but turn them all down publicly.  Then take a gig doing something that requires you to speak intelligently and engage the public differently.  They will watch to see if you fail.  You must succeed.  You will gain a newfound respect if you don't show shame, stay focused and deliver something unexpected.  If you fail, hit the poles at the nearest strip club, your booking fees there will be good no matter what!