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Monday, October 29, 2012

Wants = Needs = The Real You

What do you want?  A 3000 Sq. foot home, Mercedes, more money, vacations?

What do you need?  Food, family, friends, love?

Commonly, things you want are categorized as "extras" or "cherries on top"- things you get after you get the basics.

On the other end, things you need are characterized as "requirements" or "basics" - things you must have to be healthy or establish a status of living.

But what if all you go-getters, groupies, mistresses, hos, jump-offs, ex-wives and girlfriends are looking at your wants and needs entirely wrong?  Usually women meet men and decide that they need respect, honesty and freedom to choose.  In addition, these same women want gifts, trips, good looks and lifestyle statuses.  But there is a problem with how women determine their wants and needs when engaging men.  The thought process women currently embrace around this topic is primitive and lacks true insight.

Here's a revolutionary thought: there is no difference between a want and a need.

Keepers embrace this truth.

So the BMW or Mercedes you crave is not just a want, it's a need.  The diamond ring you visualize on your finger is not just a want, it's a need.  Yes, you need those red bottomed heels to be happy.  If this seems too shallow and unrealistic to you, it's because you still don't understand.  Don't worry, that's why you have a pimp like me in your life.  Follow closely.

Women make the mistake of not just prioritizing their wants and needs, but actually degrading themselves in the process of demonstrating practicality.  In other words, most women underestimate the meanings behind their own wants and needs.  So moving forward when you are contemplating what's important to you, pondering your so-called wants versus your so-called needs, consider the following.

Whether you think and feel you want or need something, do not assume that if you get it you will be fulfilled.  Especially if you do not take the time to ask yourself two very important questions:

  • What does this want/need say about me?
  • If I obtain this want/need, what part of me gets fulfilled?     

Most women have no idea that when their wants/needs are satisfied that they may still not be satisfied.  Usually when lack of fulfillment happens, the process by which women have initially determined their wants/needs was flawed.  In other words, most women do not stop to consider that their wants/needs reveal more about what's missing in their lives than money can really pay for.  As a result, these women end up creating even more lists of wants...needs...demands...standards...requirements, etc.

Filling a bottomless hole is quite improbable without direction.

Start with the basics.  Realize that you have beliefs about how the world is, who you are in relation to your circumstances and what you feel you deserve.  "I am a good person."  "I am from a good family or community."  "I deserve to be happy because I am a good person from a good family."  These are beliefs.

Beliefs impact values, and vice versa.  Honesty, integrity, loyalty- these are examples of values.  So, "I am a good person because I am honest and loyal."  Beliefs are founded on values, just as values shape beliefs.  So take a look at your wants/needs and ask yourself, "What do my wants/needs say about my beliefs and values?"

If you do this, you will begin to pinpoint whether or not your are correctly identifying your wants and needs based on who you really are.  Otherwise, the real you will keep imploring you to create more wants/needs in search of the truth.  You will ask for things you want, demand things you feel you need.  Constant feelings of incompleteness, anxiety, insecurity and desperation emerge.  Needy women epitomize these emotions and are like bottomless pits of insatiable black holes that suck the life out of every relationship they touch.  Men that meet these women soon learn that no amount of time, money, gifts, vacations or even compliments will tame the succubus-like emotional voids constantly lurking behind every request made by these needy women.

So when you say you want or need a "man with financial means," what you really mean is that you want "companionship and security to feel safe."  So it's not the BMW that you want/need, it's the emotional fulfillment you get from what the the BMW represents that unveils the real you.  Keepers understand their beliefs and values and know why they want and need what they desire.  Needy women have no idea of what their own beliefs and values are, so they just keep roaming and begging for some sort of satisfaction that never results.    

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