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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

All Sex is About Love

A woman not involved in the fast life recently wrote me and asked an interesting question: "Is all sex about love?"  

Here's my opinion: All sex is about love.  Many will scoff at such a claim.  But it’s true.  All sex is about love.
Many women will recall the men that didn’t love them before, during or after sex.  Another group of women may boldly proclaim they didn’t love many of the men they had sex with any more than the men loved them.  So all sex can’t be about love, right?
Wrong.  I didn’t claim that all sex is love.  I wrote that all sex is about love.  There’s a difference in the two statements.
To say all sex is love means that perverse realities like pornography, rape and molestation are love.  We all know those things hardly represent love.  Quite the opposite is the case.
But to claim that all sex is about love means you must accept the following:  sex is a demonstration of love, a fulfillment of love or a search for love due to an absence of love.
Love puts the highest value and stakes on your sexuality.  It gives intercourse a higher purpose.  Making all sex about love demonstrates one’s value of time also.
Have you ever had meaningless sex?  Do you believe sex can occur with no strings attached?  Sex that “just happens” or “is just for fun” but supposedly “doesn’t mean anything” because neither person expects anything from each other afterwards- represents a false illusion.
The truth is: there is no such thing as meaningless sex.  All sex means something because it takes time to indulge in sexual expeditions.  Time can’t be replaced once it is gone, which makes every moment worth something since we can’t reverse time.  Go to any funeral and listen to how living relatives and friends suddenly get a profound appreciation for time as they search for meaning in every memory of the deceased’s actions. 
I wonder if a person died while having a one night stand how the living relatives and friends would label the deceased’s last sexual experience.  Would it be labeled as just meaningless sex?  Or would it be perceived as a demonstration, fulfillment or search for love?
If you want to know the true reasons for your sexual actions, consider your own sexual code.  Your sexual code is what determines if you decide to be intimate with a man.  Ask yourself the following questions:
How did you learn about sex?  What was your first sexual experience?  How did your first sexual encounter take place?  What elements drive your sexual alter ego?  What kinds of sensual fantasies do you have?  How satisfying are your intimate encounters?  What do you find yourself craving most during your heightened states of sensual awareness?  How many sexual partners have you had? 
The answers to all those questions are the layers of intrigue that create your sexual code.  What rests at the core of your sexual code is the very reason you indulge in sex.  Men that make love to you well understand important parts of your sexual code.  Men that simply do not please you in bed are lacking insight on your sexual code. 
However, do not mistake an outstanding sexual experience as love.  If you do, you’re forgetting one very important fact:  every man you have sex with is not always looking for love or willing to accept and give love at the same time you are.  Timing is even more important when deciding to engage in sex.
If you make all sex about love you will see clearer purpose in your love life, make the most of time and attract men that value your affections the way you cherish your own sensual graces.  Know your spirit, trust your spirit and make all sex about love.  Not every woman is cut out to play the fast lane.

Monday, November 26, 2012

New Year, New Game? Join a New Team

Nearing 2013 some female hustlers are right where they started in 2012.

Still doing club appearances but not getting paid a significant cut of appearance, admission fees or sponsorship dollars?

Still don't have an agent or manager?

Still don't have a real brand or public identity to leverage into opportunities?

Still clamoring to get into VIP events to hopefully catch a glimpse or even meet a man rich enough to change your tax bracket in one night?

Still claiming you're going to lose weight, get fit, grow hair, update your wardrobe or get some real professional pictures to showcase?

Still getting cheap thrills off of how many "likes" or "comments" you get on Facebook instead of booking paying gigs in a real magazines?

For those ladies serious about themselves and not just looking for cheap self-esteem boosts on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or You Tube- stop faking and start making.  Stop frontin' and book something.  Stop posing for free and up your fees!

These cheap knock-off broads are hurting themselves, trying too hard, wearing too little and doing too many favors for fake promoters, over-the-hill rappers and low rent producers using you as stepping stones to attract better women.  Don't play yourself.  I've seen a number of so-called female models on line trying to get fans, begging for attention and getting way too excited about comments from the same local bombs that only tell you that you're attractive because they know your self-esteem will believe it.  Some of you need clearer skin, better outfits, stylists, gym trainers and most of all- actual talent.

Here's a tip, if you stand next to Amber Rose, Kim Kardashian, Karrine Stephans, Angel, Evelyn or any of the top female personalities actually making real money- would you still be worth looking at or would you fade into the background?  If you can't stand next to a real model or top actress and still look appealing, you are nothing more than a dillusional fan being lied to by third rate promoters going for quantity over quality.  In other words, they just need bodies at the parties and you're an extra.  Always will be.

On the other hand, for you standouts, true thoroughbred models and female hustlers with public speaking ability, acting skills and business minds it's time to take your local hustle to the next level.  You need a team, a manager and a plan.  Don't go into 2013 with the same team that can't seem to bring anyone to the party except the same people you see in the grocery store near your house.  It's time to grow up in 2013, serious ladies know who to contact, results guaranteed.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Kiss and Tale?

Let's face it.  Secrets are secrets to avoid discovery, hurt or embrassment.  What people do not know can only hurt, embarass or disrupt if unveiled.  Secrets are powerful truths that not only control the people involved but the status quo mindsets of the people the secrets are kept from.

Just think about the power of secrets.  The peace of mind of the wife of a cheating husband is in the hands of some lustful, opportunistic mistress.  The pride and joy of the father to a daughter secretly moonlighting as an adult entertainer could be in the hands of some gentleman's club owner or porn producer.  Secrets control those in the know and those clueless to the facts- power.

In the world of mistresses, secrets take on extra dimensions.  While the husband or boyfriend goes home to the wife or girlfriend with lips as tight as locked caskets in a graveyard.  The Other Woman goes home to sleep alone, harbor her trysts into the recesses of her mind and wait for the next opportunity to see the man of another woman.  Often overlooked is the added sacrifice mistresses make when dealing with attached men: they often forsake traditional dating and even family lives to do so.

If propositioned by another man, a wife can state, "I'm married."  The mistress may say, "It's complicated" or "I am involved already" but inside she thinks, "Am I passing up being number one to a man to be a mistress, am I going to regret this moment?"

On Holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years families gather.  The wife greets relatives and friends at the side of her husband with entitlement.  The mistress may appear at her own family gatherings alone fielding questions from friends and family like, "When are we going to see your boyfriend?"  "How long are you going to be single?"

Eventually mistresses learn to field inquisitions into their love lives with carefully rehearsed phrases like, "I'm dating but nothing serious," "I'm seeing someone but I don't want to talk about it until I know it's serious," "I don't like to discuss my personal life."  But inside, these Other Women want to scream to the world, "He really wants to be with me," "He left his wife for me," "We love each other."  But they can't share openly.  No one can know.  Secret relationship require discretion.

So what happens to Other Women when they can't share their secrets, good times, feelings and hopes with someone?  What takes place in their minds when they can't tell their friends and family about their relationships?  After all, would friends and family gladly say, "As long as you are happy with being second to his wife, everything will be good.  Don't mess it up.  You've got a good thing happening"?  Slim chance, right?

Secrets make mistresses lonely.  Arguments, good times, great memories are all tucked away into the secret places of a mistress's mind and heart.  All to protect the life, marriage and maybe even families of the men they are sharing with wives.  To what end do the mistresses reach as they shut off a parts of themselves for the sake of a married men?

I always tell women in these situations to have at least one confidant they can trust.  While secrets may protect married men, what about the well being and even safety of mistresses?  Whether the confidant is a family member or close friend, someone needs to know.  Mistresses place themselves in very compromising situations to sneak around with married men.  Someone should know where a mistress spends her secret times just in case the fantasy takes a turn into the realm of nightmare or ends abruptly like a horrible night terror.

Besides, secrets only have as much power as people allow.  Why should mistresses allow themselves to be secrets more vulnerable to the status of obscurity?  With a confidant and possible witness, mistresses ensure their own stint in the wings is protected and possibly witnessed.  More importantly, if the experience proves worthwhile, the book or story of the mistress may need a foreword by the secret confidant!  :)



Sunday, November 18, 2012

3 Secrets Scandalous Women Know About Powerful, Rich Men

Delilah seduced Samson.

Paula Broadwell conquered David Patraeus, leader of America's CIA!

"Hotwife" Heather Clem cuckolded her husband and lured Hulk Hogan and many other high profile sports personalities.

Karinne "Superhead" Stephans ensnared countless Hip Hop rainmakers and public personalities into her web of sensual intrigue.

Heidi Fleiss ruled the impulses of Charlie Sheen.

Marilyn Monroe enticed JFK.

In many instances, expert Jezebels and Delilahs stroll into the hallways, onto the gridiron, hardwood courts and slip backstages with little resistence.  Some of these women layer themselves as writers, artists, photographers, models, agents, stylists, socialites or even simple interns.  Hence the first secret of the successful Scandalous Woman is:

Secret #1: Powerful Men Get Off On Challenges.

Contrary to oversimplified beliefs, these woman are not stupid, gullable or even naive.  They are shrewd, calculating and business minded.  In other words, don't let the short skirt or pouty lips deceive you, these ladies are smart networking specialists with tenacity of investigative reporters.  Like undercover law enforcement, they take on the roles and become the characters they need to be in order to establish credibility.  Professional skills, confidence, articulate grasp of language and most of all intuitive insight are common characteristics which help lady libertines get their heels in the door to meet the people that make decisions.

Imagine this: IQ of 156, member of MENSA, performed at Carnegie Hall on the piano twice by the age of 15 and earned a full scholarship to Rutgers University.  Don't imagine anymore, I just described multimillionair porn star Asia Carrera.

Delilah was a government informant.  Paula Broadwell is an established academic and writer.  Heather Clem is a model. Karinne Stephans is a model turned writer.  Heidi Fleiss started as an upscale escort.  Marilyn Monroe started as a model and actress.

The point: Powerful men prefer women that have some type of intriguing profession which requires great conversational skills, presentation abilities and business instincts.  Dumb women cannot keep up with smart women.  Smart women know how to put up a reasonably interesting challenge.  Powerful men like challenges.  A woman can be a maid in the home of a powerful couple and seduce the husband because the turn-on for the husband is that the maid must still keep up appearances in front of the wife, ask Mildred Baena- maid to Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver.  The dance of deception and daring makes men stiff as baseball bats.  It's that simple.

Secret #2: Power = Drugs and Alcohol.

Ever made a decision while intoxicated or high that you would not have made if sober?  Sure you have.  Power intoxicates. Men of power are often behaving on the longest buzz or high as their power allows.  Just as marijuana or alcohol creates different types of highs on various smokers and drinkers, power affects men in the same manner.  Ever gotten high or drunk with a man only to regret getting high or drunk with him because you didn't like how he handled his high around you?  What happens is the woman avoids that situation again and finds the right guy to get high with.    

So scandalous vixens know their own specialities and tolerences.  They learn how to hunt for and seduce the men that exhibit the types of "power highs" most susceptible to their specialized charms so they can get high off the power together.  Consequently, when you see a powerful man caught in a very public scandal that makes you ask, "Why in the world did he do that with her, he knows she's just after him because of his status?"  Answer: The man isn't looking for love, he was just looking for a woman to get high as hell with!

Secret #3:  Powerful Men Have An APRON FETISH!

Aprons protect clothes as a person cooks.  Chefs wear aprons.  Stereotypically, women wear aprons in the kitchen.  It's been said that men visualize women naked wearing aprons in the kitchen.  So the apron is really underwear masquarading as outerwear cloting.  What does this mean?

The seductive intentions of scandelous vixens are like customized aprons, they can be worn in public over everyday appearances but imply to the right onlookers that they will be catered to, serviced and satisfied in a very personalized way.  Powerful, rich men can pay for VIP service, customized products, exclusive perks and luxury items.  What makes the best seductresses just as powerful as their entranced suitors is that they know how to pick the right aprons for the right men at the right time.  What kind of apron can you put on to get the type of rainmaker you want?

Saturday, November 10, 2012

B*TCH Wake Up!

It is what it is.  Don't make it more or less.  That's the game.  Remember the last 3 sentences.

Would you jump into the deep end of a swimming pool without knowing how to swim?

Can you imagine playing professional football without pads and helmets?

Do you think if someone put you into the cockpit of a 747 jet airliner that you could fly it without taking flying lessons?

No will be the answers to all the previous questions, no doubt.  So what the fuck is the matter with these half-ass hos out here driving around in busted ass cars with no gas hoping that they can get to the next gas station?  What part of the game is this?

What I mean to say is this: what kind of ho meets deep pockets and simply hopes she can get a few perks instead of planning and executing the right moves to ensure that her time is valued?  Poor hos hope, rich hos know.  Let me explain.

Since the release of Poor Ho, Rich Ho: From Hos to Housewives, I've received hundred of emails from aspiring go-getters asking the same question: How do I know if he just wants sex from me or really wants a relationship?

I love my readers.  I love the ladies.  With all due respect- bitches wake the fuck up!

Let there be no confusion.  Ballers, Rich Men, Sugar Daddies want your ass confused.  They want you to wonder: Does he really want more but is afraid to say so?  Does he really not want to be with his wife but he can't leave her yet?

They want you insecure, unsure and walking on thin ice for one reason- you are cheaper when you feel lucky to be in the room.  That's right, if a high value suitor picks you up from the opposite end of the tax bracket it's because they are discount shopping, looking for Prius prices with Mercedes performance.

Let me break this down for you.  Most of the aspiring female hustlers are not ballers themselves.  They are not rich.  They are working class women dreaming of winning the relationship lottery.  So they occasionally get dolled up, hit prestigious scenes and nightlife spots to rub shoulders with men that they hope will scoop them up into the top shelf life.  Classic Cinderella fantasies, trust me I read email after email from these very gorgeous prospects.

The problem is, every so often a few of them get a shot a nabbing a big fish.  I'll save you the suspense.  Most blow it.  They end up looking like typical idiotic groupies, whining that the guy didn't respect them, didn't call them after sex and didn't even buy them anything off the damn dollar menu of Micky D's!

Here's why they blow it.  They lie to themselves from the start.  They start to believe their own Cinderella fantasies.  Then they HOPE that all the emails are helping to build a bond with the traveling business tycoon, athlete or entertainer.  They HOPE that all the Skype calls and traded photos mean that they are getting closer to their suitor.  They HOPE that that plane ticket and hotel room mean the beginning of a happy ending that only happens in romantic comedy movies.  They HOPE that the one thing they have to offer, the one thing that they are banking on closing the deal will somehow take them from part-time administrative assistant to wife or mistress to a multimillionaire.  That one thing is SEX.

Bitch wake up.

A man can get sex anywhere.  ANYWHERE!!!  Hope is for dumb, poor hos.  Lots of these ladies think that a tweet or inbox from a horny celeb or high end suitor means that they are magical goddesses about to be discovered.  So they HOPE for the best when they put it all out there, give all up and never bother to think of the following:

Did you keep all the emails?  This could be a good book or small short story worth selling to the highest bidder of gossip hustlers.

Did you record all the Skype and phone calls?  Everything ends, what do you have for leverage later?

Did you take as many pictures with him as possible to post online later if you need to send a message?  If he only flies you out 3 times a year, what the fuck do you think he's doing all the other months of the year, waiting to spend precious tie with your ass?  Bitch wake up.

Did you plan to have protected or unprotected sex with him? I can assure you that when you tell him that you are pregnant, the first question he will ask is: Is it mine?  He will also say, "I barely know you.  We met online.  I don't know what you are doing when you are not with me.  You planned this."  It's all good, until the pregnancy test read positive then you find out just how much he really "liked" you and has "feelings that he couldn't describe fully" towards you.  Bitch wake up.

Do you plan on getting pregnant purposely?  If so, make sure it's his.  HOLD UP.  Did he just write that?  Yes bitch.  I did.

This is where fake bitches cringe and Rich Hos don't even blink and say, "Amen."  Here's the deal for you brand new hos: do not lie about who you are to yourself, lie to the motherfucka you are hustling.  Simple.

I've found when hos start asking questions like, "How do I know if he has feelings for me?"  What they really mean is: "At first I was just being a gold diggin' ho but now I want him to see me as a possible love interest.  So I'm confused about whether or not all of my lies in the beginning were good enough so they won't come back to haunt me when he falls in love with me for real."  Chances are that if you have to ask yourself if the guy has feelings with you, the better question to ask is: how long will it be before he dumps your ass without warning?

So the solution to this is simple.  Do not enter the game without a plan.  Know what you want to get out of the arrangement.  How much do you want in your saving account when it ends?  What kinds of perks will it take to make you happy? How do you want to be treated throughout the dealings?

I sometimes meet new hos that gasp at such questions.  As if they never want to admit to themselves that they even think such thoughts.  Many of them feel that if they openly admit to themselves that they want something out of these arrangements that they are admitting to being stereotypical groupies or even worse, prostitutes!

Yet when the shit hits the fans, they watch men with resources do everything they can to get something for nothing.  These men don't text, tweet or call anymore.  If they do answer the phone they deny, deny, deny.  The sad part is watching these male tricks make it rain in some of my nightclubs, throwing thousands of dollars in the air to raving people.  My smartest go-getters know better though.  They know that the best way to make a move is to tell these Rainmakers, "You can make it rain in this club where you don't know where your money is going or you can cause a flash shower where the grass is greener and the fruits are ripe."  It's common sense.  If it's not raining on you that means it's raining somewhere else.

So why the fuck are some of you poor hos afraid to see shit for what it is?  The real tragedy is that many of these ladies don't want to see themselves for what they really are so they enter the game in denial, unprepared and begging to be labeled a fool.  Ask Ayana "Chipotle Girl" Marie.

If I were managing Ayana, I would tell her this.  Lay low.  Have your child.  Get an attorney.  Secure the identity of the child's father.  If the father can support the child, get what you deserve.

Redeem your reputation by first by being a good mother.  Next, get your thoughts together and position yourself to be the antithesis of everything you previously stood for. You are a gorgeous woman.  One child will not stop you from getting another opportunity to land a rainmaker.  You have a tiny, tiny window of public persona to leverage.  Use it.  Plenty of reality shows would probably cast you.  But the key to regaining your credibility will be your success as a parent, put that first, don't just say that you love your child.  Hell, even Superhead has a son- can you imagine what he's going to have to deal with when he grows up?  Don't be that ho.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Can You Last After the Orgasm?

All four walls have been climbed on.  Bed posts have been smashed repeatedly into every wall in the room.  Mattresses are imprinted tributes to the type of circus love that makes Barnum and Bailey blush.  His back is scratched so much he looks like he's been wrestling with wolves through the night.  Her legs are now shaped like pretzels.  The cops have come by numerous times because neighbors hear a woman screaming so loud that she sounds as if she's being bounced around into oblivion.  When sex resembles a shuttle trip to Mars, produces heat like the sun and leaves shooting stars in both your eyes, it can leave you staring at the ceiling, smoke in hand, sweat on your brow thinking, "Damn...damn...damn...I want more but I can't move my legs."

After you crawl out of bed to the shower, cool off, get dressed for the hundredth time, kiss good bye and drive (or fly) back home you confirm within yourself, "Ok, the sex is beyond good, it's historical.  I want this to last.  How do I keep him interested outside the bedroom?  Is sexual chemistry all we have?"

In some cases, sex is all two people will ever have.  Mostly because when people learn and know each other's circumstances outside the bedroom and really do not want the responsibility of engaging a person's whole life, sex protects from larger "real life" realities. I refer to these types of arrangements as "sport sex."  Fun, exploration, escape and sensual games take place, people get what they came for and then go home until the next game begins.  Fuck buddies, jump-off partners, booty callers, etc.- these are classic sex-based relationships that thrive off lust.  When the lust is gone or replaced by a fresh body, the sex ends.  Period.

For some, sport sex is an escape from work, stress, marriage or bad sex with someone else.  It is what it is.  But what happens when someone wants to extend the interest of another beyond the bedroom?

I've had approximately 300 readers ask, "How do I keep a man interested after sex?"

At the risk of oversimplifying their plight, I'm speculating that they lured men with the pussy and now want more OR they are contemplating giving up the pussy and want to make sure they position themselves to have a shelf life longer than a few romps in the sack.  No matter which scenario fits you, consider the following:

  1. Mind over Matter.  His mind must be had to make his dick matter.  Do you even know what he wants?  Do you know how valuable he thinks you are?  If you can accurately answer those two questions and are reasonably confident in your theories, you are on the right track. If you don't know the answers, if you decide to jump in the sack anyway you agree to whatever outcome results- even if it means you go into the one-and-done category.
  2. Be You.  Intelligent women with a sense of humor last longer.  In other words, have something to say.  Have views.  Have interests.  Do not take yourself so seriously that you are always trying to look your best, sound perfect and act like what you think he wants.  Eventually, you'll get branded as shallow, dumb or fake if you refuse to be the same YOU that you'd be doing the laundry in sweat pants.  If a man wants a model, he can buy a magazine or just watch porn.  If you feel you always have to be prepared to be his personal centerfold or porn queen, you're in an arrangement as the hired "entertainment."  Face facts. You've been objectified and you can either take it or leave it.
  3. Ask POWERFUL questions.  So many women take the same two routes.  They either talk too much and think in their minds, "He listens so well.  I feel like we really got to know each other."  Or they ask stupid ass questions that only require YES or NO responses from men and assume they have attained worthwhile insights.  Here's the deal, balance is required.  What I mean is, share what you wish to share but ask open-ended questions that begin with phrases like: How do you feel about...Describe what you think about...Tell me something I'd be surprised to know...How would you describe your experience with...etc.  Asking powerful questions means that you provide men a chance to elaborate and share.  The art of being a conversationalist is lost on many women in this game.  Some of them simply don't have the poise, intelligence, patience or ability.  Those women that know how to pick a man's brain tend to last longer than a few hotel room visits.
  4. Align.  This is a very clever persuasive tactic.  Ask a powerful question.  Hear what he says.  Repeat to him what you are hearing him say.  Ask him if you are understanding him right.  He will say yes OR elaborate more.  If he says yes, tell him something about you or ask another powerful question.  If he elaborates more, keep listening, repeat what you are hearing and keep it going.  The more you do this, the more he feels you are interested, that you two are on the same page, in tune...together.  
  5. Hand Jobs.  Men like women that are interested in them.  It's that simple.  There's nothing worse than a broad that never asks any questions about a guy, they seem selfish and cold.  Stroke the male ego by asking powerful questions, listening, repeating what you hear and throwing in a compliment when appropriate.  If you know how to talk and listen to a man, you will have his dick and his mind in your hands, under your spell.
  6. Talk Dirty In Bed.  I won't go into this now but pillow talk is the key to keeping him interested out of bed....more to come on this, only if you want ;)