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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Coco: Dumb Ho or Smart Ho?

Pimp down.  It happens.  You can turn a ho into a housewife but you can't take the ho out of the wife- you can only aim to manage the track such a woman walks on.

No debate about this: Ice-T made the business of Coco.  From image to opportunities, Nicole "Coco" Austin received a firm pimp hand into the game to become a formidable earner over a significant period of time.  Nicole Austin’s career began at the young age of 6, when she began dancing in jazz, tap, and ballet productions. At 18, Austin began doing work as a swimsuit and lingerie model.  She also put in work at Hugh Hefner’s famous Playboy Mansion, working in various capacities at the magazine’s special events there.  In 2011, Coco began the phase of her career that’s gained her the most fame: Reality Star. The program is called Ice Loves Coco, which premiered on the E! channel on June 12 of that year. The show has managed to be quite popular despite the climate of many different reality TV shows featuring low-and-mid-grade celebrities.  

Worth millions at this point of her career, why in the world would Coco allow no-name rapper AP.9 to apparently hold significant leverage over her marriage, career and reputation?  

Sure, onlookers will claim she's just a stupid ho.  Critics will say, "What did Ice-T expect?  She's doing what hos do."  At first glance, I admit- Coco the rich ho just did a dumb, poor ho move.

Upon closer examination, my hunch tells me otherwise.  Is she dumb OR are we looking at a "cuckolding" situation gone too far?

For those unfamiliar with the term cuckolding: A cuckold fetishist is completely aware of his spouse's activity and even encourages it and derives sexual leasure from it.

Each cuckold has their reasons for this fetish.  Behind it is the need to feel jealousy to stimulate sexual arousal.  The wife uses her sexual prowess to seduce other men, while the husband (cuck) derives pleasure from it.  This may seem extreme to the common eye, but this fetish is behind many interracial sexual fantasies, particularly those involving white wives that prefer black men.  There are various extremes of the cuckolding fetish too.  Some husbands enjoy watching their wives flirt or tease, some enjoy watching their wives have sex with other men, some even "breed" their wives out to black men to produce babies!

While traditional minded onlookers watch Ice-T and Coco's situation and assume it's a marriage on the rocks because Coco is an undisciplined, unfaithful ho.  As an experienced flesh purveyor, my take is that Coco is doing what she's signed up to do for her man.  Sure, Ice-T was once a bonafide pimp.  But he retired from that role years ago to pursue other things, including marriage to Coco.  Consider this, a pimp sees all kinds of sexual situations, fetishes and preferences when dealing with hos and the tricks that worship women of the night.  Leaving that world to reside in more mainstream waters is bound to have some affect on anyone.

Is it possible that Coco has always "posed" for pictures and such with other men as part of the marriage's "private sexual fetish" rule?  The only thing that went wrong is that Coco possibly picked the wrong "mark" (Ap.9) for her sexual fantasy play with her husband, an uncooperative character unwilling to be discreet about the fact that he suspects or knows that Ice-T is Coco's cuckold.

If Ice-T is indeed a cuckold, Coco isn't a dumb ho, she's a smart ho that found the perfect cuckold to set her up, build her career, make her rich and then stay by her side during this "marital crisis" as AP.9 hints that he also has nude pictures of Coco as well.

REMEMBER THIS.  The way you will be able to tell if this is a cuckold situation- watch how Ice-T responds to all of this.  If he leaves, Coco is a dumb ho that got caught slipping.  If Ice stays, Coco is a smart ho that secured her cuckolded sugar daddy by way of providing him the "fix" he can't resist.  That's game, watch and learn from the Rich Ho Testament- Poor Ho, Rich Ho: From Hos to Housewives...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

All Sex is About Love

A woman not involved in the fast life recently wrote me and asked an interesting question: "Is all sex about love?"  

Here's my opinion: All sex is about love.  Many will scoff at such a claim.  But it’s true.  All sex is about love.
Many women will recall the men that didn’t love them before, during or after sex.  Another group of women may boldly proclaim they didn’t love many of the men they had sex with any more than the men loved them.  So all sex can’t be about love, right?
Wrong.  I didn’t claim that all sex is love.  I wrote that all sex is about love.  There’s a difference in the two statements.
To say all sex is love means that perverse realities like pornography, rape and molestation are love.  We all know those things hardly represent love.  Quite the opposite is the case.
But to claim that all sex is about love means you must accept the following:  sex is a demonstration of love, a fulfillment of love or a search for love due to an absence of love.
Love puts the highest value and stakes on your sexuality.  It gives intercourse a higher purpose.  Making all sex about love demonstrates one’s value of time also.
Have you ever had meaningless sex?  Do you believe sex can occur with no strings attached?  Sex that “just happens” or “is just for fun” but supposedly “doesn’t mean anything” because neither person expects anything from each other afterwards- represents a false illusion.
The truth is: there is no such thing as meaningless sex.  All sex means something because it takes time to indulge in sexual expeditions.  Time can’t be replaced once it is gone, which makes every moment worth something since we can’t reverse time.  Go to any funeral and listen to how living relatives and friends suddenly get a profound appreciation for time as they search for meaning in every memory of the deceased’s actions. 
I wonder if a person died while having a one night stand how the living relatives and friends would label the deceased’s last sexual experience.  Would it be labeled as just meaningless sex?  Or would it be perceived as a demonstration, fulfillment or search for love?
If you want to know the true reasons for your sexual actions, consider your own sexual code.  Your sexual code is what determines if you decide to be intimate with a man.  Ask yourself the following questions:
How did you learn about sex?  What was your first sexual experience?  How did your first sexual encounter take place?  What elements drive your sexual alter ego?  What kinds of sensual fantasies do you have?  How satisfying are your intimate encounters?  What do you find yourself craving most during your heightened states of sensual awareness?  How many sexual partners have you had? 
The answers to all those questions are the layers of intrigue that create your sexual code.  What rests at the core of your sexual code is the very reason you indulge in sex.  Men that make love to you well understand important parts of your sexual code.  Men that simply do not please you in bed are lacking insight on your sexual code. 
However, do not mistake an outstanding sexual experience as love.  If you do, you’re forgetting one very important fact:  every man you have sex with is not always looking for love or willing to accept and give love at the same time you are.  Timing is even more important when deciding to engage in sex.
If you make all sex about love you will see clearer purpose in your love life, make the most of time and attract men that value your affections the way you cherish your own sensual graces.  Know your spirit, trust your spirit and make all sex about love.  Not every woman is cut out to play the fast lane.

Monday, November 26, 2012

New Year, New Game? Join a New Team

Nearing 2013 some female hustlers are right where they started in 2012.

Still doing club appearances but not getting paid a significant cut of appearance, admission fees or sponsorship dollars?

Still don't have an agent or manager?

Still don't have a real brand or public identity to leverage into opportunities?

Still clamoring to get into VIP events to hopefully catch a glimpse or even meet a man rich enough to change your tax bracket in one night?

Still claiming you're going to lose weight, get fit, grow hair, update your wardrobe or get some real professional pictures to showcase?

Still getting cheap thrills off of how many "likes" or "comments" you get on Facebook instead of booking paying gigs in a real magazines?

For those ladies serious about themselves and not just looking for cheap self-esteem boosts on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or You Tube- stop faking and start making.  Stop frontin' and book something.  Stop posing for free and up your fees!

These cheap knock-off broads are hurting themselves, trying too hard, wearing too little and doing too many favors for fake promoters, over-the-hill rappers and low rent producers using you as stepping stones to attract better women.  Don't play yourself.  I've seen a number of so-called female models on line trying to get fans, begging for attention and getting way too excited about comments from the same local bombs that only tell you that you're attractive because they know your self-esteem will believe it.  Some of you need clearer skin, better outfits, stylists, gym trainers and most of all- actual talent.

Here's a tip, if you stand next to Amber Rose, Kim Kardashian, Karrine Stephans, Angel, Evelyn or any of the top female personalities actually making real money- would you still be worth looking at or would you fade into the background?  If you can't stand next to a real model or top actress and still look appealing, you are nothing more than a dillusional fan being lied to by third rate promoters going for quantity over quality.  In other words, they just need bodies at the parties and you're an extra.  Always will be.

On the other hand, for you standouts, true thoroughbred models and female hustlers with public speaking ability, acting skills and business minds it's time to take your local hustle to the next level.  You need a team, a manager and a plan.  Don't go into 2013 with the same team that can't seem to bring anyone to the party except the same people you see in the grocery store near your house.  It's time to grow up in 2013, serious ladies know who to contact, results guaranteed.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Kiss and Tale?

Let's face it.  Secrets are secrets to avoid discovery, hurt or embrassment.  What people do not know can only hurt, embarass or disrupt if unveiled.  Secrets are powerful truths that not only control the people involved but the status quo mindsets of the people the secrets are kept from.

Just think about the power of secrets.  The peace of mind of the wife of a cheating husband is in the hands of some lustful, opportunistic mistress.  The pride and joy of the father to a daughter secretly moonlighting as an adult entertainer could be in the hands of some gentleman's club owner or porn producer.  Secrets control those in the know and those clueless to the facts- power.

In the world of mistresses, secrets take on extra dimensions.  While the husband or boyfriend goes home to the wife or girlfriend with lips as tight as locked caskets in a graveyard.  The Other Woman goes home to sleep alone, harbor her trysts into the recesses of her mind and wait for the next opportunity to see the man of another woman.  Often overlooked is the added sacrifice mistresses make when dealing with attached men: they often forsake traditional dating and even family lives to do so.

If propositioned by another man, a wife can state, "I'm married."  The mistress may say, "It's complicated" or "I am involved already" but inside she thinks, "Am I passing up being number one to a man to be a mistress, am I going to regret this moment?"

On Holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years families gather.  The wife greets relatives and friends at the side of her husband with entitlement.  The mistress may appear at her own family gatherings alone fielding questions from friends and family like, "When are we going to see your boyfriend?"  "How long are you going to be single?"

Eventually mistresses learn to field inquisitions into their love lives with carefully rehearsed phrases like, "I'm dating but nothing serious," "I'm seeing someone but I don't want to talk about it until I know it's serious," "I don't like to discuss my personal life."  But inside, these Other Women want to scream to the world, "He really wants to be with me," "He left his wife for me," "We love each other."  But they can't share openly.  No one can know.  Secret relationship require discretion.

So what happens to Other Women when they can't share their secrets, good times, feelings and hopes with someone?  What takes place in their minds when they can't tell their friends and family about their relationships?  After all, would friends and family gladly say, "As long as you are happy with being second to his wife, everything will be good.  Don't mess it up.  You've got a good thing happening"?  Slim chance, right?

Secrets make mistresses lonely.  Arguments, good times, great memories are all tucked away into the secret places of a mistress's mind and heart.  All to protect the life, marriage and maybe even families of the men they are sharing with wives.  To what end do the mistresses reach as they shut off a parts of themselves for the sake of a married men?

I always tell women in these situations to have at least one confidant they can trust.  While secrets may protect married men, what about the well being and even safety of mistresses?  Whether the confidant is a family member or close friend, someone needs to know.  Mistresses place themselves in very compromising situations to sneak around with married men.  Someone should know where a mistress spends her secret times just in case the fantasy takes a turn into the realm of nightmare or ends abruptly like a horrible night terror.

Besides, secrets only have as much power as people allow.  Why should mistresses allow themselves to be secrets more vulnerable to the status of obscurity?  With a confidant and possible witness, mistresses ensure their own stint in the wings is protected and possibly witnessed.  More importantly, if the experience proves worthwhile, the book or story of the mistress may need a foreword by the secret confidant!  :)



Sunday, November 18, 2012

3 Secrets Scandalous Women Know About Powerful, Rich Men

Delilah seduced Samson.

Paula Broadwell conquered David Patraeus, leader of America's CIA!

"Hotwife" Heather Clem cuckolded her husband and lured Hulk Hogan and many other high profile sports personalities.

Karinne "Superhead" Stephans ensnared countless Hip Hop rainmakers and public personalities into her web of sensual intrigue.

Heidi Fleiss ruled the impulses of Charlie Sheen.

Marilyn Monroe enticed JFK.

In many instances, expert Jezebels and Delilahs stroll into the hallways, onto the gridiron, hardwood courts and slip backstages with little resistence.  Some of these women layer themselves as writers, artists, photographers, models, agents, stylists, socialites or even simple interns.  Hence the first secret of the successful Scandalous Woman is:

Secret #1: Powerful Men Get Off On Challenges.

Contrary to oversimplified beliefs, these woman are not stupid, gullable or even naive.  They are shrewd, calculating and business minded.  In other words, don't let the short skirt or pouty lips deceive you, these ladies are smart networking specialists with tenacity of investigative reporters.  Like undercover law enforcement, they take on the roles and become the characters they need to be in order to establish credibility.  Professional skills, confidence, articulate grasp of language and most of all intuitive insight are common characteristics which help lady libertines get their heels in the door to meet the people that make decisions.

Imagine this: IQ of 156, member of MENSA, performed at Carnegie Hall on the piano twice by the age of 15 and earned a full scholarship to Rutgers University.  Don't imagine anymore, I just described multimillionair porn star Asia Carrera.

Delilah was a government informant.  Paula Broadwell is an established academic and writer.  Heather Clem is a model. Karinne Stephans is a model turned writer.  Heidi Fleiss started as an upscale escort.  Marilyn Monroe started as a model and actress.

The point: Powerful men prefer women that have some type of intriguing profession which requires great conversational skills, presentation abilities and business instincts.  Dumb women cannot keep up with smart women.  Smart women know how to put up a reasonably interesting challenge.  Powerful men like challenges.  A woman can be a maid in the home of a powerful couple and seduce the husband because the turn-on for the husband is that the maid must still keep up appearances in front of the wife, ask Mildred Baena- maid to Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver.  The dance of deception and daring makes men stiff as baseball bats.  It's that simple.

Secret #2: Power = Drugs and Alcohol.

Ever made a decision while intoxicated or high that you would not have made if sober?  Sure you have.  Power intoxicates. Men of power are often behaving on the longest buzz or high as their power allows.  Just as marijuana or alcohol creates different types of highs on various smokers and drinkers, power affects men in the same manner.  Ever gotten high or drunk with a man only to regret getting high or drunk with him because you didn't like how he handled his high around you?  What happens is the woman avoids that situation again and finds the right guy to get high with.    

So scandalous vixens know their own specialities and tolerences.  They learn how to hunt for and seduce the men that exhibit the types of "power highs" most susceptible to their specialized charms so they can get high off the power together.  Consequently, when you see a powerful man caught in a very public scandal that makes you ask, "Why in the world did he do that with her, he knows she's just after him because of his status?"  Answer: The man isn't looking for love, he was just looking for a woman to get high as hell with!

Secret #3:  Powerful Men Have An APRON FETISH!

Aprons protect clothes as a person cooks.  Chefs wear aprons.  Stereotypically, women wear aprons in the kitchen.  It's been said that men visualize women naked wearing aprons in the kitchen.  So the apron is really underwear masquarading as outerwear cloting.  What does this mean?

The seductive intentions of scandelous vixens are like customized aprons, they can be worn in public over everyday appearances but imply to the right onlookers that they will be catered to, serviced and satisfied in a very personalized way.  Powerful, rich men can pay for VIP service, customized products, exclusive perks and luxury items.  What makes the best seductresses just as powerful as their entranced suitors is that they know how to pick the right aprons for the right men at the right time.  What kind of apron can you put on to get the type of rainmaker you want?

Saturday, November 10, 2012

B*TCH Wake Up!

It is what it is.  Don't make it more or less.  That's the game.  Remember the last 3 sentences.

Would you jump into the deep end of a swimming pool without knowing how to swim?

Can you imagine playing professional football without pads and helmets?

Do you think if someone put you into the cockpit of a 747 jet airliner that you could fly it without taking flying lessons?

No will be the answers to all the previous questions, no doubt.  So what the fuck is the matter with these half-ass hos out here driving around in busted ass cars with no gas hoping that they can get to the next gas station?  What part of the game is this?

What I mean to say is this: what kind of ho meets deep pockets and simply hopes she can get a few perks instead of planning and executing the right moves to ensure that her time is valued?  Poor hos hope, rich hos know.  Let me explain.

Since the release of Poor Ho, Rich Ho: From Hos to Housewives, I've received hundred of emails from aspiring go-getters asking the same question: How do I know if he just wants sex from me or really wants a relationship?

I love my readers.  I love the ladies.  With all due respect- bitches wake the fuck up!

Let there be no confusion.  Ballers, Rich Men, Sugar Daddies want your ass confused.  They want you to wonder: Does he really want more but is afraid to say so?  Does he really not want to be with his wife but he can't leave her yet?

They want you insecure, unsure and walking on thin ice for one reason- you are cheaper when you feel lucky to be in the room.  That's right, if a high value suitor picks you up from the opposite end of the tax bracket it's because they are discount shopping, looking for Prius prices with Mercedes performance.

Let me break this down for you.  Most of the aspiring female hustlers are not ballers themselves.  They are not rich.  They are working class women dreaming of winning the relationship lottery.  So they occasionally get dolled up, hit prestigious scenes and nightlife spots to rub shoulders with men that they hope will scoop them up into the top shelf life.  Classic Cinderella fantasies, trust me I read email after email from these very gorgeous prospects.

The problem is, every so often a few of them get a shot a nabbing a big fish.  I'll save you the suspense.  Most blow it.  They end up looking like typical idiotic groupies, whining that the guy didn't respect them, didn't call them after sex and didn't even buy them anything off the damn dollar menu of Micky D's!

Here's why they blow it.  They lie to themselves from the start.  They start to believe their own Cinderella fantasies.  Then they HOPE that all the emails are helping to build a bond with the traveling business tycoon, athlete or entertainer.  They HOPE that all the Skype calls and traded photos mean that they are getting closer to their suitor.  They HOPE that that plane ticket and hotel room mean the beginning of a happy ending that only happens in romantic comedy movies.  They HOPE that the one thing they have to offer, the one thing that they are banking on closing the deal will somehow take them from part-time administrative assistant to wife or mistress to a multimillionaire.  That one thing is SEX.

Bitch wake up.

A man can get sex anywhere.  ANYWHERE!!!  Hope is for dumb, poor hos.  Lots of these ladies think that a tweet or inbox from a horny celeb or high end suitor means that they are magical goddesses about to be discovered.  So they HOPE for the best when they put it all out there, give all up and never bother to think of the following:

Did you keep all the emails?  This could be a good book or small short story worth selling to the highest bidder of gossip hustlers.

Did you record all the Skype and phone calls?  Everything ends, what do you have for leverage later?

Did you take as many pictures with him as possible to post online later if you need to send a message?  If he only flies you out 3 times a year, what the fuck do you think he's doing all the other months of the year, waiting to spend precious tie with your ass?  Bitch wake up.

Did you plan to have protected or unprotected sex with him? I can assure you that when you tell him that you are pregnant, the first question he will ask is: Is it mine?  He will also say, "I barely know you.  We met online.  I don't know what you are doing when you are not with me.  You planned this."  It's all good, until the pregnancy test read positive then you find out just how much he really "liked" you and has "feelings that he couldn't describe fully" towards you.  Bitch wake up.

Do you plan on getting pregnant purposely?  If so, make sure it's his.  HOLD UP.  Did he just write that?  Yes bitch.  I did.

This is where fake bitches cringe and Rich Hos don't even blink and say, "Amen."  Here's the deal for you brand new hos: do not lie about who you are to yourself, lie to the motherfucka you are hustling.  Simple.

I've found when hos start asking questions like, "How do I know if he has feelings for me?"  What they really mean is: "At first I was just being a gold diggin' ho but now I want him to see me as a possible love interest.  So I'm confused about whether or not all of my lies in the beginning were good enough so they won't come back to haunt me when he falls in love with me for real."  Chances are that if you have to ask yourself if the guy has feelings with you, the better question to ask is: how long will it be before he dumps your ass without warning?

So the solution to this is simple.  Do not enter the game without a plan.  Know what you want to get out of the arrangement.  How much do you want in your saving account when it ends?  What kinds of perks will it take to make you happy? How do you want to be treated throughout the dealings?

I sometimes meet new hos that gasp at such questions.  As if they never want to admit to themselves that they even think such thoughts.  Many of them feel that if they openly admit to themselves that they want something out of these arrangements that they are admitting to being stereotypical groupies or even worse, prostitutes!

Yet when the shit hits the fans, they watch men with resources do everything they can to get something for nothing.  These men don't text, tweet or call anymore.  If they do answer the phone they deny, deny, deny.  The sad part is watching these male tricks make it rain in some of my nightclubs, throwing thousands of dollars in the air to raving people.  My smartest go-getters know better though.  They know that the best way to make a move is to tell these Rainmakers, "You can make it rain in this club where you don't know where your money is going or you can cause a flash shower where the grass is greener and the fruits are ripe."  It's common sense.  If it's not raining on you that means it's raining somewhere else.

So why the fuck are some of you poor hos afraid to see shit for what it is?  The real tragedy is that many of these ladies don't want to see themselves for what they really are so they enter the game in denial, unprepared and begging to be labeled a fool.  Ask Ayana "Chipotle Girl" Marie.

If I were managing Ayana, I would tell her this.  Lay low.  Have your child.  Get an attorney.  Secure the identity of the child's father.  If the father can support the child, get what you deserve.

Redeem your reputation by first by being a good mother.  Next, get your thoughts together and position yourself to be the antithesis of everything you previously stood for. You are a gorgeous woman.  One child will not stop you from getting another opportunity to land a rainmaker.  You have a tiny, tiny window of public persona to leverage.  Use it.  Plenty of reality shows would probably cast you.  But the key to regaining your credibility will be your success as a parent, put that first, don't just say that you love your child.  Hell, even Superhead has a son- can you imagine what he's going to have to deal with when he grows up?  Don't be that ho.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Can You Last After the Orgasm?

All four walls have been climbed on.  Bed posts have been smashed repeatedly into every wall in the room.  Mattresses are imprinted tributes to the type of circus love that makes Barnum and Bailey blush.  His back is scratched so much he looks like he's been wrestling with wolves through the night.  Her legs are now shaped like pretzels.  The cops have come by numerous times because neighbors hear a woman screaming so loud that she sounds as if she's being bounced around into oblivion.  When sex resembles a shuttle trip to Mars, produces heat like the sun and leaves shooting stars in both your eyes, it can leave you staring at the ceiling, smoke in hand, sweat on your brow thinking, "Damn...damn...damn...I want more but I can't move my legs."

After you crawl out of bed to the shower, cool off, get dressed for the hundredth time, kiss good bye and drive (or fly) back home you confirm within yourself, "Ok, the sex is beyond good, it's historical.  I want this to last.  How do I keep him interested outside the bedroom?  Is sexual chemistry all we have?"

In some cases, sex is all two people will ever have.  Mostly because when people learn and know each other's circumstances outside the bedroom and really do not want the responsibility of engaging a person's whole life, sex protects from larger "real life" realities. I refer to these types of arrangements as "sport sex."  Fun, exploration, escape and sensual games take place, people get what they came for and then go home until the next game begins.  Fuck buddies, jump-off partners, booty callers, etc.- these are classic sex-based relationships that thrive off lust.  When the lust is gone or replaced by a fresh body, the sex ends.  Period.

For some, sport sex is an escape from work, stress, marriage or bad sex with someone else.  It is what it is.  But what happens when someone wants to extend the interest of another beyond the bedroom?

I've had approximately 300 readers ask, "How do I keep a man interested after sex?"

At the risk of oversimplifying their plight, I'm speculating that they lured men with the pussy and now want more OR they are contemplating giving up the pussy and want to make sure they position themselves to have a shelf life longer than a few romps in the sack.  No matter which scenario fits you, consider the following:

  1. Mind over Matter.  His mind must be had to make his dick matter.  Do you even know what he wants?  Do you know how valuable he thinks you are?  If you can accurately answer those two questions and are reasonably confident in your theories, you are on the right track. If you don't know the answers, if you decide to jump in the sack anyway you agree to whatever outcome results- even if it means you go into the one-and-done category.
  2. Be You.  Intelligent women with a sense of humor last longer.  In other words, have something to say.  Have views.  Have interests.  Do not take yourself so seriously that you are always trying to look your best, sound perfect and act like what you think he wants.  Eventually, you'll get branded as shallow, dumb or fake if you refuse to be the same YOU that you'd be doing the laundry in sweat pants.  If a man wants a model, he can buy a magazine or just watch porn.  If you feel you always have to be prepared to be his personal centerfold or porn queen, you're in an arrangement as the hired "entertainment."  Face facts. You've been objectified and you can either take it or leave it.
  3. Ask POWERFUL questions.  So many women take the same two routes.  They either talk too much and think in their minds, "He listens so well.  I feel like we really got to know each other."  Or they ask stupid ass questions that only require YES or NO responses from men and assume they have attained worthwhile insights.  Here's the deal, balance is required.  What I mean is, share what you wish to share but ask open-ended questions that begin with phrases like: How do you feel about...Describe what you think about...Tell me something I'd be surprised to know...How would you describe your experience with...etc.  Asking powerful questions means that you provide men a chance to elaborate and share.  The art of being a conversationalist is lost on many women in this game.  Some of them simply don't have the poise, intelligence, patience or ability.  Those women that know how to pick a man's brain tend to last longer than a few hotel room visits.
  4. Align.  This is a very clever persuasive tactic.  Ask a powerful question.  Hear what he says.  Repeat to him what you are hearing him say.  Ask him if you are understanding him right.  He will say yes OR elaborate more.  If he says yes, tell him something about you or ask another powerful question.  If he elaborates more, keep listening, repeat what you are hearing and keep it going.  The more you do this, the more he feels you are interested, that you two are on the same page, in tune...together.  
  5. Hand Jobs.  Men like women that are interested in them.  It's that simple.  There's nothing worse than a broad that never asks any questions about a guy, they seem selfish and cold.  Stroke the male ego by asking powerful questions, listening, repeating what you hear and throwing in a compliment when appropriate.  If you know how to talk and listen to a man, you will have his dick and his mind in your hands, under your spell.
  6. Talk Dirty In Bed.  I won't go into this now but pillow talk is the key to keeping him interested out of bed....more to come on this, only if you want ;)

Monday, October 29, 2012

Wants = Needs = The Real You

What do you want?  A 3000 Sq. foot home, Mercedes, more money, vacations?

What do you need?  Food, family, friends, love?

Commonly, things you want are categorized as "extras" or "cherries on top"- things you get after you get the basics.

On the other end, things you need are characterized as "requirements" or "basics" - things you must have to be healthy or establish a status of living.

But what if all you go-getters, groupies, mistresses, hos, jump-offs, ex-wives and girlfriends are looking at your wants and needs entirely wrong?  Usually women meet men and decide that they need respect, honesty and freedom to choose.  In addition, these same women want gifts, trips, good looks and lifestyle statuses.  But there is a problem with how women determine their wants and needs when engaging men.  The thought process women currently embrace around this topic is primitive and lacks true insight.

Here's a revolutionary thought: there is no difference between a want and a need.

Keepers embrace this truth.

So the BMW or Mercedes you crave is not just a want, it's a need.  The diamond ring you visualize on your finger is not just a want, it's a need.  Yes, you need those red bottomed heels to be happy.  If this seems too shallow and unrealistic to you, it's because you still don't understand.  Don't worry, that's why you have a pimp like me in your life.  Follow closely.

Women make the mistake of not just prioritizing their wants and needs, but actually degrading themselves in the process of demonstrating practicality.  In other words, most women underestimate the meanings behind their own wants and needs.  So moving forward when you are contemplating what's important to you, pondering your so-called wants versus your so-called needs, consider the following.

Whether you think and feel you want or need something, do not assume that if you get it you will be fulfilled.  Especially if you do not take the time to ask yourself two very important questions:

  • What does this want/need say about me?
  • If I obtain this want/need, what part of me gets fulfilled?     

Most women have no idea that when their wants/needs are satisfied that they may still not be satisfied.  Usually when lack of fulfillment happens, the process by which women have initially determined their wants/needs was flawed.  In other words, most women do not stop to consider that their wants/needs reveal more about what's missing in their lives than money can really pay for.  As a result, these women end up creating even more lists of wants...needs...demands...standards...requirements, etc.

Filling a bottomless hole is quite improbable without direction.

Start with the basics.  Realize that you have beliefs about how the world is, who you are in relation to your circumstances and what you feel you deserve.  "I am a good person."  "I am from a good family or community."  "I deserve to be happy because I am a good person from a good family."  These are beliefs.

Beliefs impact values, and vice versa.  Honesty, integrity, loyalty- these are examples of values.  So, "I am a good person because I am honest and loyal."  Beliefs are founded on values, just as values shape beliefs.  So take a look at your wants/needs and ask yourself, "What do my wants/needs say about my beliefs and values?"

If you do this, you will begin to pinpoint whether or not your are correctly identifying your wants and needs based on who you really are.  Otherwise, the real you will keep imploring you to create more wants/needs in search of the truth.  You will ask for things you want, demand things you feel you need.  Constant feelings of incompleteness, anxiety, insecurity and desperation emerge.  Needy women epitomize these emotions and are like bottomless pits of insatiable black holes that suck the life out of every relationship they touch.  Men that meet these women soon learn that no amount of time, money, gifts, vacations or even compliments will tame the succubus-like emotional voids constantly lurking behind every request made by these needy women.

So when you say you want or need a "man with financial means," what you really mean is that you want "companionship and security to feel safe."  So it's not the BMW that you want/need, it's the emotional fulfillment you get from what the the BMW represents that unveils the real you.  Keepers understand their beliefs and values and know why they want and need what they desire.  Needy women have no idea of what their own beliefs and values are, so they just keep roaming and begging for some sort of satisfaction that never results.    

Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Morning After...Do You Get a Call?

Eyes meet from a simple glance.  Glances turn into stares.  Stares lead to entrancement so the dance begins.  He moves closer to where you are.  You sway instinctively into the paths you hope that he crosses.  Like a well oiled pendulum, back and forth intrigue weaves a web of smoldering curiosity that engulfs both your minds to degrees which defy mother's wise words or daddy's tales of caution.

Your place or his?  In the car or in the bed?  Panties to the side or just take them off?

Facing each other now, what separates the beastly urges in both of you are the mere formalities of learning one another's names, age ranges and general ability to speak enough of the same language to get from point A to Z before the sun rises, or sets if you're a morning libertine.  Other than the basics, your purring and his leering are a few moments away from public indecency if you both don't decide soon whether or not to skip the main course and just smother yourselves in the most taboo sensual dessert called The One Night Stand.

Touch but not taste?  Grind but don't plunge?  Tease or just take?

It could morph from a dance that reveals much very soon.  It could emerge from a drink that flows into your lips too fast.  It could be the result of devilish suggestions from honey tipped tongues that melt across your mind in the right ways at the right times.  When the moment your mind and body achieve steadfast harmony to engage the symphony of lust, you know it because you think: "He can have some, now."  Your One Night Stand has been debated, voted on and passed through your own congress of Lady Rules and is now destined for the Hall of Skeletons in Closets.

Gentle or rough?  Loud or quietly?  Flesh or Not?

Decisions haunt your mind almost intently as lifeblood rushes through your inner thighs and the peaks of your bosom point to exactly what you want.  Your hands do spider crawls to places on him you want to ensure prove worth one night minus caution.  His hands go where you allow after you've gripped what could be something which feels like the very thing you've always imagined that could fit you the way gloves fit perfectly match hands.  It's what you want, no doubt at all.

Ride or lay back?  Quick or slow?  Pull out or leave it in?

Only you and your fantasy know the answers.  But after the souls are exchanged, the sun rises or sets and you transform back into that lady that you are, what next?

Mental tricks may invade.  Did I go to far, too soon?  Should I have said what I said so loudly?  Does he think I do this all the time?  What kind of woman does he think that I am now?  Is he going to even call me again?  Will he call me too much?  I wonder if I should go get a check-up?  Did I make a baby last night?  Would I do it again with him?  Should I call him today or wait?

Yes, depending on how far the wizards of lust entranced your body, mind and spirit you may ask some of those previous questions after a One Night Stand.  All answers are debatable.  No answers are improbable.  One night flings leave an uncertain reality for some.

So what do men think of women after a one night stand?

The answer may sound crude, but dumb women are left guessing or clueless.

Smart women know exactly what men think of them after a one night stand.

If you are left guessing or even clueless about what men think of you after a one-and-done, he most likely thinks you are a untrustworthy, impressionable, undisciplined and lying ho.  Double standard?  Yes.  (The Double Standard is an entirely different blog...later for that.)

However, if you know exactly what men think of you after a one-and-done, you are a Keeper, a very smart woman.  This means that you understand, know and saw what you wanted, took what you wanted without expectations afterwards, enjoyed it and are ok with whatever transpires or not afterwards.  Smart women don't play "hope games" with their prized possession.

No it's not that glorious kitten between your legs, it's your mind.  Dumb women are always guessing or clueless, that's mental torture.  They play dice games with their own sanity.

Smart women make up their minds how they intend to feel before the deed is done and they stick with it.  If more develops from a one night stand, this means that smart women met, picked and engaged men without double standards- more to enjoy again is possible.

Dumb women guess and usually guess wrong, pick wrong and end up with more skeletons than they will ever admit.

How do men view women after one night stands?

Women it depends on what kind of man you pull and how accurate you are in sizing up your one night stand partner.  One way to know if you were the dumb or smart woman is how you feel when or if he calls.  Men think of you as much as you accurately know their characters.

More to come on this topic...        

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Polyamory: The New Monogamy?

Boy meets girl.  Girl learns that Boy already has girlfriend/wife.  Girl and Boy get together anyway.

Girlfriend/wife learns about New Girl.  Girlfriend/wife stays with Boy.  New Girl stays with Boy too.  Now Boy has Girlfriend/wife and New Girl.  Is this cheating?

Traditional claims will say: Boy is a dog.  Girlfriend/wife is stupid.  New Girl is a homewreckin' ho!

But what if this scenario is more common or just as prevalent as good old fashioned one man-one woman "monogamous" relationships?  What if more people are knowingly but quietly sharing partners?

If so, what sort or people do this?  What are the "rules of engagement" that make such seemingly complex "threesomes" less complicated?

Only those that engage in such bonds would really know.  I can say that these polyamorous relationships differ quite a bit from Swinging, which is based purely on sexual intrigue.  Mutually consenting, polyamorous relationships are creeping into mainstream circles discreetly with similar dynamics of traditional relationships.  This means that more and more people are somehow coming to terms with their own presently unique or non-traditional ideas on what love, faithfulness and compatibility means.

Of course I suspect that men would be more accepting of the "poly" union as long as they do not have to share women.  I also suspect that most women would openly say they would never choose to willingly share a man with another woman.  But people say the lots of things, right?

But what do people actually do?

More than half of marriages end in divorce.  Aside from money, infidelity is a top reason for separations and divorces.  A February 2012 article via the Washington Post cited: "In a 1991 study, sex researcher Shere Hite found that 70 percent of married women have cheated on their partners; a 1993 follow-up study found that 72 percent of married men have as well. According to a 2004 University of Chicago study, 25 percent of married men have had at least one extramarital affair. And with more than 12 million members looking for extramarital intimacy on Web site AshleyMadison.com (tagline: “Life is short. Have an affair.”), it’s easier than ever to break marriage vows. A wedding ring is not insurance against cheating."

The fact is, more than half or married people cheat.  People have different reasons for cheating in traditional marriages but what if they did not have to cheat?

A close friend of mine is married to a woman that is open to sharing him under very specific conditions.  He met another woman who was interested in having an affair.  But when he told the woman that he didn't really have to cheat because his wife was open to sharing, the woman opted not to deal with him.  He offered me this insight on the possible reasons why the other woman did not engage the situation:

  1. The Other woman felt safer being a secret because secrets have power.
  2. The Other woman probably wanted more than an affair.
  3. The Other woman was intimidated by the wife.
  4. The Other woman could not leverage the affair against the husband.
  5. The Other woman did not want another woman to know she was open to sharing willingly.
  6. Secret affairs are the norm in the minds of people that believe in traditional unions- anything else is too risky or unusual.  

It's funny to me how willing lots of woman are to engage married or attached men, especially if they can remain separate or a secret from the wife/girlfriend.  But I wonder if there would be less drama and healthier relationships if people just shared openly under their own specific rules of engagement?


Sunday, September 30, 2012

From Hos to Housewives – Secrets of “Keepers” Exposed in NEW BOOK

Are you a Keeper?  The fast life summons with flashing lights, eyes of admiration and glorified diamond encrusted pedestals for the most enticing women of the night.  Flowing streams of endorsement deals, paydays that rival the revenues of small corporations and international platforms which position alluring sex symbols to be worshiped and adored by millions of fans.  The game is no longer just a game, but big business.  The Poor Ho, Rich Ho volumes penned by underground flesh provocateur Lair Haven go beyond the glorified entertainment taglines into the underlying motivations and business tactics which make the game not really a game at all.  Then he goes deeper.

Curvaceous legs, entrancing bosoms embodied in fleshly masterpieces with eyes that echo the souls of Heaven and Hell.  From the red district to authentic red bottoms, hos walks through paths which rival mind boggling mazes of truths living lives that domesticated women secretly dream of, but cannot openly admit.  Poor Ho, Rich Ho: From Hos to Housewives is the second offering from the author of Poor Ho, Rich Ho: Modern Women of the New Pimp Game.  

The second volume takes readers through the green pastures of envy and the Gossip Machine, the mindsets of top Rich Hos, the psychological profiles of tricks, the business of branding top female hustlers, explains the 10 Rich Ho Principles and then addresses the complicated process of how top rich hos become housewives.  The game is told and sold.  Any ho reading this book will learn how to get what she wants from men and the business of YOU, Inc.

If you think you are a Keeper, consider this The Rich Ho Testament.         

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Fuck You? Pay Me?

True story, a waitress at a bar and grill spot walks up to a group of four gorgeous women out celebrating their respective promotions.  The women, all in their early 30s, take a minute to acknowledge the waitress as each of them are sharing details of their successful salary negotiation tactics.  One woman's name is Rachel, she'd just made partner at her law firm.  After a few moments the waitress looks at Rachel and says, "Congratulations miss, the gentleman at the bar sends his congrats as well, thinks you are very beautiful and has invited you to go ahead and buy him a drink to celebrate."  The four women sat in silence, eyeing the bright-eyed waitress in disbelief.  "Are you serious?" Rachel asked.

"I'm just the messenger," the waitress responded, sensing tension.

"You tell that very handsome man over there that I'll pay for his drink if he pays for our entire tab tonight- and we're not done drinking.  Go tell him that!"

Rachel and her three girlfriends watch the waitress walk back over to the man then deliver the message.  The man looks at their table, then shakes his head in disbelief, gets up and leaves.  Rachel looks at her three friends and says, "See, that's what I'm contending with!  I make well over six figures a year, have my own home and properties, drive a new model Mercedes and work my ass off.  I don't need a man for shit but I still can't find one to be with.  That motherfucka wouldn't even buy me a drink?  What the fuck?"

Rachel's story is the tale for many successful, attractive career women.  Though eye catching and available, you'd be surprised how many of them have dating troubles.  I get hundreds of emails from women asking the exact same question, "Why don't men pick up the tabs for women anymore?"

There are 10 reasons why men do not pay, today I'll share 3 just to let you draw some conclusions of your own as well.

  1. Changing times.  Women have climbed the ladder of success since the Suffrage Movement.  Today many women make just as much or more money than men.  Ironically, men are aware of this fact.
  2. Ms. Independent.  Congrats to this "persona" for letting men off the hook.  She makes money, can pay her own bills, is loved by Beyonce and Ne-Yo, tells men all the time that she does not need anyone!  Guess what?  Men believe her.
  3. Poor Ho Syndrome.  It's not that men don't pay for things anymore, they just do not pay for YOU.  Some of you dames just don't act, look or even think you are worth a price.  You want to be "priceless" in the eyes of men because you are scared of the effects of money!  This means that you have subliminally concluded that men view money as an obstacle to you.  So you pretend that money means nothing to you as if cash is an evil spirit.  You try NOT to act like a gold digger so men won't look at you as a "user."  You want to be viewed as genuine, compassionate and supportive so you don't ask much of men other than kind words and companionship.  You tell men you don't want much in hopes that they will give you more out of the goodness of their hearts and their demonstrated "love" or "lust" for you.  In other words, if you can get a man to give more than kind words and companionship, into the realm of gifts and even financial support without you ever really asking for such things- these men validate you on multiple levels.  It says to you that you are worth it, you have influence and that the man did it because he wanted to.  I've seen countless relationships end with women saying, "I never asked for you to spend all that money on me!"  While the guy is screaming, "What about the money I gave you, the car, the rent or mortgage payment, the jewelry...did you think I was just doing that shit for free?"  Poor Ho syndrome ends badly.  It's nothing more than an attempt by women of this type to draw men into their fantasy (without telling men) of being chosen, worth something, all validated by men doing emotional and financial favors without ever being asked by women.  It's a chaotic illusion.  How "romantic" that thought must be.  Yet when things do not happen, Poor Ho syndrome leaves a woman asking, "How can I get men to do financially relevant favors for me?"  It's like they set the Poor Ho bed and are stuck lying in it for free!  From my Rich Hos to you....
Rich Ho Cold Hard facts:
  1. Start High, Sell High: Rich hos don't even look like they don't cost money.  Men understand from the start that they need to impress.  These women wear entitlement complexes gracefully.  When the check comes to the table they don't offer to pay, look at their purses or even bother to check the tab to see how much dinner and drinks are.  They order without checking with their date what the "budget" is.  If a man dares ask them to pay half of anything, that will be the last question he gets to ask.
  2. Men Pay.  Rich Hos know that when a man is impressed, he works hard to impress.  If not you, it will be another bitch he deems worth his time and money.  When with a man ask him who his dream date or celebrity crush is.  He will share the names of gorgeous women.  Then ask yourself, "Would he tell her to pay half of the bill?"  No he would not.  So why is he asking you to pay?  Rich women know this.  These women position themselves on a pedestal.  Poor Hos wait to be placed on one by men via kind words and companionship but find out where they stand when the bill comes and he says, "You got this one right?" 
  3. Truth Frees.  "I don't pay on dates.  That's just not how I am."  Simple, direct and unapologetic.  Rich Hos can say this without a lump in their throat in fear that men will go away and find a cheaper broad.  Rich Hos know they are worth it.  They set the precedence and never negotiate their stance on this issue.  Poor Hos doubt their ability to live up to expectations men have that don't mind pulling out the plastic (that's credit card for you dumb hos out there).  

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Home of the Reality Movement: Wives and Long-Time Girlfriends Pay Attention

Home of the Reality Movement: Wives and Long-Time Girlfriends Pay Attention: A controversial book titled Poor Ho, Rich Ho: Women of the Modern Pimp Game was released last year.  Initially the book was written as a bri...

Wives and Long-Time Girlfriends Pay Attention

A controversial book titled Poor Ho, Rich Ho: Women of the Modern Pimp Game was released last year.  Initially the book was written as a brief introduction to the lifestyle of women living the fast life.  Interpret "fast life" however you wish.  Ironically, in July 2012 Anderson Cooper aired a show titled Extreme Groupies vs. Basketball Wives.  A woman named "Stephanie" from BallerAlert.com was also on the show.  The same website also ran a blog story titled Poor Ho, Rich Ho: Know Your Target Audience based on my book.

For the past month I've been fielding questions from mostly Wives and Girlfriends about this book. What I've gathered is one thing: The Hos are indeed winning and Wives and Girlfriends are looking for tips on how to get back in the game!

One woman wrote: "I went to school, got educated, stayed out of trouble and got married to my college sweetheart who then had an affair with a woman that reminds me of one of those Basketball Wife groupies!  I'm sitting here asking myself, what am I doing wrong?"

Another wife wrote me after reading the book and said, "I think the difference between married women like me and the women you describe in your book, is that us married women and girlfriends have too much pride.  We were taught to make men chase us and prove they deserve our affections.  Our men got sick of it and started being open to women who were willing to chase them, compliment them, tell them 'thank you', dress up for them and make them feel special.  Sadly, in most marriages and long time relationships, women take men for granted and stop looking good, dressing up and even flirting with our men.  This book showed me, that if I don't, some other ho will.  So I'm trying to get back in touch with my own inner ho now (LOL)!!!"

Like I said...every woman has some ho in her.  Perhaps the hos are winning because they represent a part of womanhood that has been stifled and restricted.  Surprisingly, it's not men that judge and condemn hos, women do the best job of destroying each other in this arena.  Maybe it's time for a truce?

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Red, White and Blue...Coming Soon

Fresh from traveling abroad and expanding the reality movement, I'm back stateside with a game-changing new book series: Red, White and Blue.

For new readers, I am Lair Haven author of the best selling Poor Ho, Rich Ho: Modern Women of the New Pimp Game.  Entrepreneur and entertainment kingmaker, the underground reality movement is emerging into the sort of truth that can't be denied any longer.

October 1, 2012 marks the release of my next offering in the Poor Ho, Rich Ho series:


Candid, raw and most of all insightful, THE RED BOOK is for the discerning woman that want the effective truth on how to best be a star in their world.  No judgments, no bullshit, no room for the timid.  My readers live by their own set of rules and judge success by outcomes.

I had a woman tell me that money can't buy you love.  So I told her, "Your love can't pay your damn mortgage either.  Every tried paying a down payment on a new piece of property with a hug?  The ladies I know have and they told me to tell you that your hugs ain't worth a damn but a theirs helped them buy summer homes."

I'm just sayin...

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Every woman has a price...

I've been from the United States to Russia to Canada to Brazil to Latin America and back.  Some of the most beautiful women have crossed my path.  In one way or another, they all had a price.  By price I mean money or some other form of retribution for what they deemed as valuable.  What I never forget is that all women have some ho in them.  What differentiates this "inner Jezebel" are the degrees to which women embrace and display this truth.  Sure such a statement may be crude to some eyes, insightful to others but it is what it is.

In the coming weeks, I'll be releasing a book that will be the definitive statement about the nature of women in the world of entertainment and everyday life.  Make this blog one of your favorites for updates....