Wednesday, November 28, 2012
All Sex is About Love
A woman not involved in the fast life recently wrote me and asked an interesting question: "Is all sex about love?"
Here's my opinion: All sex is about love. Many will scoff at such a claim. But it’s true. All sex is about love.
Many women will recall the men that didn’t love them before, during or after sex. Another group of women may boldly proclaim they didn’t love many of the men they had sex with any more than the men loved them. So all sex can’t be about love, right?
Wrong. I didn’t claim that all sex is love. I wrote that all sex is about love. There’s a difference in the two statements.
To say all sex is love means that perverse realities like pornography, rape and molestation are love. We all know those things hardly represent love. Quite the opposite is the case.
But to claim that all sex is about love means you must accept the following: sex is a demonstration of love, a fulfillment of love or a search for love due to an absence of love.
Love puts the highest value and stakes on your sexuality. It gives intercourse a higher purpose. Making all sex about love demonstrates one’s value of time also.
Have you ever had meaningless sex? Do you believe sex can occur with no strings attached? Sex that “just happens” or “is just for fun” but supposedly “doesn’t mean anything” because neither person expects anything from each other afterwards- represents a false illusion.
The truth is: there is no such thing as meaningless sex. All sex means something because it takes time to indulge in sexual expeditions. Time can’t be replaced once it is gone, which makes every moment worth something since we can’t reverse time. Go to any funeral and listen to how living relatives and friends suddenly get a profound appreciation for time as they search for meaning in every memory of the deceased’s actions.
I wonder if a person died while having a one night stand how the living relatives and friends would label the deceased’s last sexual experience. Would it be labeled as just meaningless sex? Or would it be perceived as a demonstration, fulfillment or search for love?
If you want to know the true reasons for your sexual actions, consider your own sexual code. Your sexual code is what determines if you decide to be intimate with a man. Ask yourself the following questions:
How did you learn about sex? What was your first sexual experience? How did your first sexual encounter take place? What elements drive your sexual alter ego? What kinds of sensual fantasies do you have? How satisfying are your intimate encounters? What do you find yourself craving most during your heightened states of sensual awareness? How many sexual partners have you had?
The answers to all those questions are the layers of intrigue that create your sexual code. What rests at the core of your sexual code is the very reason you indulge in sex. Men that make love to you well understand important parts of your sexual code. Men that simply do not please you in bed are lacking insight on your sexual code.
However, do not mistake an outstanding sexual experience as love. If you do, you’re forgetting one very important fact: every man you have sex with is not always looking for love or willing to accept and give love at the same time you are. Timing is even more important when deciding to engage in sex.
If you make all sex about love you will see clearer purpose in your love life, make the most of time and attract men that value your affections the way you cherish your own sensual graces. Know your spirit, trust your spirit and make all sex about love. Not every woman is cut out to play the fast lane.